Dr. Sbaitso

An interesting utility that was designed to showcase the Sound Blasters capabilities when they were fitted almost stock standard into 386 systems. This is another game of my childhood, and despite the fact it is technically not a game, I found it filled many of my hours as me and my friends attempted to trick Dr Sbaitso into saying strange things. Being such an old program, it is fair enough to say that the synthesized voice is not of the highest quality. However, as the years have gone on with other voice synthesizers coming to the forefront (such as the narrator shipped with windows XP) I realised that they have not changed a whole lot!
Dr Sbaitso begins by telling you that he is a therapist and that he is here to help you overcome some of your problems, and that for the sake of your own ego, he will wipe your memory after his session with you (a very cute add on).

He speaks his answers to you as well as having it appear textually in front of you. As it goes on, the player will realise that the options for Dr Sbaitso extend a little outside of this box. You may speak to him about your problems and he will give varying levels of useful devices, often with answers programmed to occur when certain psychological keywords are present in user responses.
However, you can also choose to insult Dr Sbaitso! If you do he will, in a very Freudian manner, try and put this down to various childhood issues and deep seated anger problems. You may choose to seduce Dr Sbaitso, but users will soon realise he is not so easily swayed by those charms. If you continue to irritate him he will very matter of fact tell you to "Shut up and Go fly a kite". As with most programs of this sort, entering the command like "Say ***" with asterisks replaced with your words, he will drop his AI facade as a psychologist and simply repeat the words that you have put down in front of him.
Overall, this may still be useful for those trying to find an optimum setting for their DOS-Box SoundBlaster systems, using it to tests specifications in a way the designer could have never envisioned. Even for the bored gamer with a few extra minutes and loneliness in their hearts, Dr. Sbaitso may just help them overcome their deep seated issues with their mothers. He sure helped me out with my anger problems! What can I say except "Shut up and go fly a kite".